How young is too young to get married?

In the movie "The Princess Bride" (which, by the way, was a major inspiration for my book The Hidden Sun) there is a great scene where Buttercup and Prince Humperdinck are to be married. The "Impressive Clergyman" that performs the ceremony has one of the many memorable lines in the movie. It can be viewed below:Often my blogs are inspired by something I've seen or experienced which then leads my mind to ponder on the subject. For this blog, it came from a picture from a recent trip to a certain fast food restaurant.
The part that got my attention was the "3 - 12 years old can play. Parents too!" You could read this that if you were a parent between the ages of 3 and 12, you are allowed to play in the play area as well.
Granted, I do not know of any parents that are under the age of 12. However, my wife and I did get married at what many consider to be a very young age. I was 22, she was 19. In the part of the country where I grew up, this wasn't all that unusual. However, when I moved to Connecticut, I discovered how truly rare that was.
There were people that insisted that it would never work out between my wife and I. I'm happy to say that 19 years later, we are still going strong--but it wasn't by fate or dumb luck. It's taken a lot of hard work.
For five years we tried to have kids, but to no avail. Then our sweet Kelley came along and we were delighted! 18 months later, beautiful Emily joined our family. Another 18 months after that, and our darling redhead Amy came along, and now my wife and I were outnumbered. At times, it felt like we had triplets. It took 3 more years before our creative, silly Stephanie completed our family.
Stephanie just turned 8. It's almost hard to believe. But as my wife and I talk (which we do often) we've realized something. The only way our marriage has survived for this long is because both of us are dedicated to it 100%. In addition, we are always communicating about our dreams, goals, concerns and such. If there is something bothering one of us, the other is there to support and help them.
Now, this isn't to say that I believe all marriages will work out. As I stated above, I believe both people have to be 100% dedicated to the happiness of the other person. A successful marriage can't be held together by one person.
Also, I don't believe that everyone will find their spouse in their early twenties. And if it is later in life that you find your spouse, that doesn't mean there was anything wrong with you. Some things are worth the wait.
I, personally, have been blessed with a wonderful wife who forgives me of my shortcomings. She makes me want to be a better person. At the same time, I want to her be happy, which means I can't be selfish, and I must give up some of my freedom to do so. However, the rewards for doing so totally outweigh any perceived freedom I've surrendered.

Bad hair day

There has been this weird sore on the end of my nose for a while now. It's not on the very tip, but it is visible if you look at me. For the longest time, I just ignored it, though it would bleed time and again. I finally went to the doctor and the doctor said, "No more monkeys jumping on the bed!" In addition, she said it was more than likely a pre-cancer that needed to be addressed.
And how do you do that? In my case, they shot liquid nitrogen (at a nice cool -321 degrees) on the sore and the area around it. If you've ever had that done to you, anywhere on your body, you know how fun that is. After the procedure, I asked them it was still manly if I teared up a bit. The nurse responded, "Oh, yes. In fact, it was even more manly that you didn't flinch." The doctor chimed in, "Or said any swear words." My response? I mumbled, "At least not verbally."
So for the last few days, I have a nose that Rudolf would envy. All right, not really, but it feels that way to me. It is getting better, but it has also made me appreciate when I don't have a giant sore on the end of my nose.
Really, that is the point. It could have been so much worse. After all, I still have food to eat, shelter to keep me warm and safe, an incredible family, my faith, and the list goes on and on.
There is a song we sing in church. It is called "Count your many blessings". The gist of the song is when things are going bad in your life, or there is something worrying you so much it impacts all other aspects of your day to day routine, take time to look at all the good things you have in your life. Every time I've done that, the "good list" totally outweighs the "bad list".
Another saying I like is, "You have to have the bad days to appreciate the good days." Here are a couple of examples.
When I was a teenager, I was very active in the scouting program. On one of our many camp outs, we climbed up into the mountains in the dead of winter. There must have been several feet of snow at our campsite. We pitched our tent, and before I went to bed, I put on every scrap of clothes I had before climbing into my sleeping bag. Even with all that, I didn't sleep a wink as I shivered the whole night. If I hadn't had that experience, I wouldn't appreciate sleeping in a comfortable bed at the perfect temperature.
A second example is around food. While I was going to college, I lived off campus. I was working full time and going to school full time. I wasn't making a lot of money, and so I had to be very careful with my money. I figured I had about $2 a day to spent on food. Let's just say, Raman noodles was my primary meal. (Side story, when my wife is out and I'm left to my own devices to make myself lunch or dinner, I make Raman noodles). On Sundays, I would go to my mom's for dinner. I would savor every mouthful of food she prepared. It was like manna from heaven!
During this Thanksgiving time, it is always nice to reflect back on all the things you are grateful for. If you really think about it, there are things you should be grateful for that you may not realize.
My encouragement is for anyone that is having a bad day, including the infamous "bad hair day", to take a few moments and think about all the things you are grateful for. I promise you this: if you do so, that "bad hair day" will not seem as bad--and it will make you appreciate when your hair looks smokin' hot.

Palindromes revealed

In my previous blog, I shared a story full of palindromes (words or phrases that are spelled the same forward and backward).

As promised, the answers are listed in this blog. But before I get to that, there is one more palindrome I discovered. It is the word "aibohphobia". As you can probably guess by looking at the word, it means the fear of something, but what? The answer? Aibohphobia is the fear of palindromes.

Hannah looked at Bob with a level gaze. Her face was getting redder by the minute. "Desserts, I stressed!"
"Wow, calm down! I did get your note, as well as the other eight you sent. It wasn't clear. I had Otto and Dennis look at them as well. Some men interpret nine memos different ways."
Frowning, Hannah asked, "And who's radar didn't pick up on the desserts?"
"It wasn't me or Otto. I believe Dennis sinned on this one."
"Dennis? That man is as drab as a fool, aloof as a bard." Hannah said. "This civic event is going to be the end of me. Nothing is right. Did we at least get the right main course? These are the members of the salami board, after all."
Bob mumbled under his breath, "Go hang a salami; I'm a lasagna hog."
"What was that?" Hannah asked.
"Nothing."
Hannah stomped around the meeting hall. "And what about all these cats? They have to be moved! Stack cats five high if needed. I don't want us to step on no pets. Bah! These cats are crazy!"
"They aren't crazy. They are just old--senile felines. I'll move them."
"You shouldn't let Ma keep so many cats," Hannah complained.
Bob turned and faced Hannah. "She has a kind heart. So do I. Ma is as selfless as I am."
"Too soft hearted," Hannah said, nodding.
"Don't nod," Bob said. "I hate when you do that. Don't lose focus. This is a big event. What is the salami board's motto? Oh, yes. 'Are we not drawn onward, we few, drawn onward to new era?' We should be honored they chose to have the event here."
Hannah walked to the decorative fireplace. "Did the salami arrive yet?"
"No trace; not one carton."
Stomping her foot, Hannah said, "Nothing is going right! Even this place is decorated all wrong. From the goldenrod-adorned log to the tin mug to the brown kayak."
At that moment, Anna and Nita walked in.
"Yo, banana boy!" Anna called.
Bob scowled. "Don't call me that. I don't like fruit. No banana, no lemon, no melon, nothing."
"Okay, how about I say 'Yo, Bob! Mug o' gumbo, boy!' instead?"
"Stop it, you two," Hannah said. "We need to clean this area up. Speaking of mugs, Anna, get this tin mug out of here."
Anna turned to her companion. "Hmm. What to do? A tin mug for a jar of gum, Nita?"
"Yes, gum will bombard a drab mob with happy feelings." Nita replied.
Hannah approached Anna. "Did you do as I told you to get rid of the wart on your hand? We can't have you serving the salami board with a warty hand. I can get more straw if you need it."
"Straw? No, too stupid a fad; I put soot on warts," Anna replied. "It will be gone in time."
Hannah gave Anna a stern look. "It better. We can't have you looking like an oozy rat in a sanitary zoo."
"I heard that Tarzan raised Desi Arnaz' rat," Bob chimed in. "True story!"
Hannah growled at Bob. "You aren't helping! If I had a boot, I'd kick you.
"Too bad I hid a boot," Bob said, smirking.

Fun with Palindromes (no relation to Sarah)

In The Hidden Sun, I use anagrams throughout the book. If you aren't familiar with an anagram, it is a word that is spelled using the same letters as another word. For example, the contest in The Hidden Sun where young men compete to become guardians is called the "Mortentaun". Not familiar with that word? That's ok--I made it up. However, if you take the letters for Mortentaun and rearrange them, you get the word "Tournament".
But anagrams aren't the only fun things you can do with words. Palindromes are also fun. A Palindrome is a word, or group of words that reads the same forward as it does backwards. Example: "I did, did I?" (granted that is a fairly lame one)
For giggles, here is a short story full of Palindromes. Can you find them all? I'll post the answers in my next blog.

Hannah looked at Bob with a level gaze. Her face was getting redder by the minute. "Desserts, I stressed!"
"Wow, calm down! I did get your note, as well as the other eight you sent. It wasn't clear. I had Otto and Dennis look at them as well. Some men interpret nine memos different ways."
Frowning, Hannah asked, "And who's radar didn't pick up on the desserts?"
"It wasn't me or Otto. I believe Dennis sinned on this one."
"Dennis? That man is as drab as a fool, aloof as a bard." Hannah said. "This civic event is going to be the end of me. Nothing is right. Did we at least get the right main course? These are the members of the salami board, after all."
Bob mumbled under his breath, "Go hang a salami; I'm a lasagna hog."
"What was that?" Hannah asked.
"Nothing."
Hannah stomped around the meeting hall. "And what about all these cats? They have to be moved! Stack cats five high if needed. I don't want us to step on no pets. Bah! These cats are crazy!"
"They aren't crazy. They are just old--senile felines. I'll move them."
"You shouldn't let Ma keep so many cats," Hannah complained.
Bob turned and faced Hannah. "She has a kind heart. So do I. Ma is as selfless as I am."
"Too soft hearted," Hannah said, nodding.
"Don't nod," Bob said. "I hate when you do that. Don't lose focus. This is a big event. What is the salami board's motto? Oh, yes. 'Are we not drawn onward, we few, drawn onward to new era?' We should be honored they chose to have the event here."
Hannah walked to the decorative fireplace. "Did the salami arrive yet?"
"No trace; not one carton."
Stomping her foot, Hannah said, "Nothing is going right! Even this place is decorated all wrong. From the goldenrod-adorned log to the tin mug to the brown kayak."
At that moment, Anna and Nita walked in.
"Yo, banana boy!" Anna called.
Bob scowled. "Don't call me that. I don't like fruit. No banana, no lemon, no melon, nothing."
"Okay, how about I say 'Yo, Bob! Mug o' gumbo, boy!' instead?"
"Stop it, you two," Hannah said. "We need to clean this area up. Speaking of mugs, Anna, get this tin mug out of here."
Anna turned to her companion. "Hmm. What to do? A tin mug for a jar of gum, Nita?"
"Yes, gum will bombard a drab mob with happy feelings." Nita replied.
Hannah approached Anna. "Did you do as I told you to get rid of the wart on your hand? We can't have you serving the salami board with a warty hand. I can get more straw if you need it."
"Straw? No, too stupid a fad; I put soot on warts," Anna replied. "It will be gone in time."
Hannah gave Anna a stern look. "It better. We can't have you looking like an oozy rat in a sanitary zoo."
"I heard that Tarzan raised Desi Arnaz' rat," Bob chimed in. "True story!"
Hannah growled at Bob. "You aren't helping! If I had a boot, I'd kick you.
"Too bad I hid a boot," Bob said, smirking.

Save us from ourselves

There is a lyric in a classic rock song that states, "Those who know what's best for us, must rise and save us from ourselves." While the author who worte those words was being sarcastic, there are those in the world who feel the need to do it anyway.

In the spirit of some of my previous blogs, here are some images of good intentions gone wrong.



This is where I'd write something clever, but frankly with this picture, I got nothin'.



I just want to know how many people actually tried this before they had to put up a warning sign.



I, personally, have cut my hands 17 times on this sign. If only I had read it closer. Oh, and what does the fine print say at the bottom?



Here is a rare photo of the number to call before they switched it to "911".



Kinda puts a whole new spin on the term "finger food", doesn't it?



Yes, after you die, they will search your body for $200. And if you don't have it in cash? They will sell anything the find on you to raise the funds. That'll teach ya!



It's all fun and games until someone gets hit in the eye with a wrench.



This sign isn't what you may think. It actually means, "Danger! The cars here are so tough they can fend off low flying aircraft!"



You must really suck to pull this one off.



Now THIS is a sign I can comply with!

Do you wanna go out?

Asking a person out on a date was an art form in the 80's. Granted, it still may be somewhat the same these days, but since I've not asked anyone out on a date (aside from my wife) in over 20 years, I may be a bit out of touch.
Where I grew up in Utah, we would have these "Dinner / Dances" held every 6 weeks or so. They consisted of some of the traditional themes like Homecoming, Sadie Hawkins, Jr. Prom, Preference, and a few others they added along the way. You would take your date to dinner, and then go to a dance afterward.
For each of these dances, it was either boy or girl choice to ask. It wasn't enough to call someone up and ask, "Do you wanna go out?". Oh no. That didn't work at all. It was expected that you ask the person out in a clever way.
Sometimes you would ask by giving them instructions on how to respond. I remember for one of my dances, my then girlfriend asked me out by giving me a box of Froot Loops and some string. I was to create a necklace out of the Froot Loops in a certain pattern if the answer was "yes" and wear it to school the next day. Granted, on this one, I cheated a little. I did, in fact, create said necklace, but wore a jacket to cover it up so I wouldn't walk around the school embarrassed all day.
Then there were those times you were asked out and your response was left open. A good friend of mine had a girl respond to his request by giving him a block of ice with the response in the middle of it. After smashing it open and getting the note out, it said, "Now that we've broken the ice, I would love to go!" (Ahhhh . . . sweet!)
I recall responding to one of the times I was asked out by doing the following: I bought like 30 helium balloons. On each balloon, I wrote one word of my response, with the last balloon giving the answer. I then tied the end of each string to the knot of the previous balloon. The end result was a string of balloons that reached pretty high into the sky. I then tied the bottom balloon to her door handle, rang her doorbell, and took off. She was forced to pull in the balloons one by one to read the answer (which, of course, was "yes!")
One of the crueler ways I asked someone was to get "revenge" on my girlfriend for the Froot Loop caper. I wrote my request to ask her out on 20 or so papers, about an inch square with one word and a number so she could tell the sequence. I then crinkled up these papers. My next move? I bought a BIG old bag of popcorn--one of those about a foot in diameter and several feet long. Inside this bag, I randomly placed the papers--which happened to look very much like popcorn. :) (She still said "yes")
But the greatest "asking out" story is something of a legend. There was a guy who would be considered a "nerd", but a very smart one who really didn't care what others thought of him. If my memory serves me correctly, the dance was around Easter time. This guy bought a dozen or so very cheap Easter Baskets. He then wrote a note in each basket saying, "Will you go to the dance with me? If yes, return this basket with your favorite candy. If no, please understand the sorry this will bring me, and return the basket filled will all sorts of candy to help soothe pain." He then gave these baskets to all the cheerleaders or girls he knew had steady boyfriends.
Not one of them said yes--but that wasn't the point. He made out like a bandit on the amount of candy he got in return.

Be good, or be good at it

"Be good, or be good at it" is probably not the best advice to give someone--at least to someone who you actually care about and want to be a good person. What's another saying about advice? "Free advice usually worth what you pay for it."
I've actually gotten a lot of good advice over the years. Some that come to mind are "don't chew tinfoil", "never spit into the wind" and "never fall asleep with gum in your mouth (it usually ends up in your hair)".
Then there are the immortal words you learn while camping with the scouts. If we ever got a cut or a scrape, we were advised to "rub a little dirt on it--you'll be fine". For a twisted ankle or knee? It was always, "walk it off--you'll be fine". If your hot dog you were cooking on the end of a stick falls to the ground? "Rub the dirt off of it--you'll be fine." If you get caught in an avalanche? "Swim with the snow, and once you get buried alive, spit, so you can tell which way is up, then start to claw your way out." Thank goodness I never had to test the last one to see if it worked.
Fortune cookies are very generous with advice. Here are some that I remember: "Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret." "Eat your vegetables and will grow up to be strong like Popeye." "The greatest danger could be your stupidity." "Never forget a friend, especially if he owes you." And my favorite of all time: "Ignore previous cookie."
Another bit of advice along those lines is: "Never judge a man until you have walked a mile in his shoes. Then, when you judge him, you will be a mile away--and you'll have his shoes."
One of the best bits of advice was from my parents-in-law when my wife and I were married. In our wedding card from them, in big letters that were underlined was one word: "COMMUNICATE!" At the time, I thought Well, duh! Of course we'll talk to each other. Nineteen years later, I've truly come to understand what that means.
My wife and are different. I know how shocking that may seem. Granted, we have a lot in common, but we are also different in a lot of ways. One thing we've become especially good at is communicating effectively. Often, that results in me saying "Yes, dear" a lot. (Alright, not really) But what we have learned is that the way one of us does, or would do, something may not be the only way, or even the best way. It's amazing how much I've learned by keeping my lips from flapping and opening my ears and heart to what my wife is saying.
The last bit of advice I'm going to share is one of the worst pieces of advice I have ever gotten. I've held management or supervisory positions at my places of employment for a good part of the last 20 years. When I was hired at one of my jobs, my boss told me his key to successful leadership: "You have to make your employees fear you. They have to feel like their job is always at risk unless they do as they are told. Only then, will you be successful."
My response? "With all due respect, I've never seen that type of behavior be effective in the long run. I believe that you should teach people what is expected of them, make sure they know how to do it, and if they can't or won't do it, what the consequences of their actions will be."
He laughed and said, "Good luck with that!"
By the time I left that position, we had a solid team that worked together well and produced outstanding results. People told me what an amazing job I had done with the department. When asked, "What was the key to your success?" I responded, "Ignore previous cookie."

A "I can't believe what just happened" moment

Have you ever had one of those moments where you thought, "I can't believe what just happened" or "I can't believe what I just saw?" I'm not talking about watching a video replay of an event like the space shuttle blowing up, or the attacks on 9/11. I'm referring to something that happened in the moment--and it was amazing.
I was reflecting on one of those moments recently. A little background first. It all stemmed from an issue I had with my left knee . . . in Mexico . . . on my Mormon mission . . . in 1989. (I wrote it that way for dramatic effect) Now when I say issue, I'm talking about me, my bike, a car and an incident that caused me from being able to bend my left knee. (That's a whole other story--heck, I may even write a book about the experience)
This story picks up when it was determined that I needed to have surgery. I was to fly back to the USA from Mexico. I was able to walk with the help of a crutch. It was one of those metal ones that had an inch of foam at the top for padding, a rubberish like handle and a rubber cap on the end.
To get to Utah from the Yucatan, I would be taking several shorter flights. The itinerary had me flying from Merida, Mexico to Mexico City to Mazatlan, Mexico to Denver, Colorado and finally to Salt Lake City.
We landed in Mexico City around 10ish in the morning. I was to have about a 2 hour lay-over there. However, I had a bit of an issue. First, I had two suitcases I need to take from one side of the airport to the other, and I was only able to walk with the use of my one crutch.
I remember standing at the gate with my suitcases (we were on a small plane so there was no going to baggage pick-up. We were given our suitcases when we got off the plane) and wondering "What the heck am I going to do?"
A kind gentleman from the airport spotted me and offered to help me get to my next gate. To get there, we had to go through the metal detector. Now remember, I am using a metal crutch to walk. Once I get to the detector, I go to hand them the crutch with the intention of hopping through on one leg. They insisted I use the crutch to walk through. So I did. And the detector went off. So they had to pat me down and use the "magic wand" to make sure I wasn't packing heat or something like that.
I finally arrived at my gate. The man that helped me with my suitcases stood there with his hand open. Knowing that I wasn't going to be coming back, I gave him all the rest of the pesos I had on me aside from a few coins and one small bill (worth about 20 cents US) that I kept as a reminder of the trip. It was all the money I had on me--I didn't have any U.S. bills.
I still had an hour or so before my next flight and so I made myself comfortable as could be and waited. After twenty minutes or so, a man came up to me. He asked me if I was a missionary. (We weren't allowed to wear nametags in Mexico--I don't recall why) I said "Si" and then realized he asked me that in English, so I then responded "Yes." He stood there for a moment, a puzzled look on his face. He then said, "I don't know why, but I feel very prompted to give you $10." I thanked him for the offer, and told him I'd be fine. He was quite insistent, so I agreed. Out of habit, I put the $10 bill inside my tie to keep it safe. (That's where I kept my large peso bills when I was in Mexico).
Time passed and I was on my way to Mazatlan. I was actually served a meal on this flight, and with the clouds and angels as my witness, it was Spam. As we landed, we were told that everyone needed to get off the plane and go through some sort of check point. It was the next announcement that was one of those "I can't believe what just happened" moments. I know for a fact that my Heavenly Father was watching over me at this time. How do I know? Because we were told that at the checkpoint we would need to pay $10--and it had to be in U.S. bills.